In 2 Samuel 11-12 we saw how David experienced moral failure, but found full forgiveness from God, when he came in confession and repentance. His actions, however, were not without consequence. This is acutely seen in how things subsequently play out within his family. To begin with however I want to touch on some verses in 1 Chronicles 3:

¹ These were the sons of David born to him in Hebron: The firstborn was Amnon the son of Ahinoam of Jezreel; the second, Daniel the son of Abigail of Carmel; ² the third, Absalom the son of Maakah daughter of Talmai king of Geshur; the fourth, Adonijah the son of Haggith; ³ the fifth, Shephatiah the son of Abital; and the sixth, Ithream, by his wife Eglah. ⁴ These six were born to David in Hebron, where he reigned seven years and six months. David reigned in Jerusalem thirty-three years, ⁵ and these were the children born to him there: Shammua, Shobab, Nathan and Solomon. These four were by Bathsheba daughter of Ammiel. ⁶ There were also Ibhar, Elishua, Eliphelet, ⁷ Nogah, Nepheg, Japhia, ⁸ Elishama, Eliada and Eliphelet—nine in all. ⁹ All these were the sons of David, besides his sons by his concubines. And Tamar was their sister.

1 Chronicles 3:1-8

Notice from these verses that David has 19 sons and one daughter through his various wives and probably far more through his unnamed concubines. The first 6 sons are born to David in Hebron during the 7 years when he reigned as King over Judah. One of his first 6 sons is murdered (Amnon), and two of the others lay claim to the throne. History tells us that it is actually Solomon, his firstborn child of Bathsheba who reigns after David. As we have seen already in the life of David, God’s choice is not always who we might expect. Yet there are often consequences when the eldest are made to stand aside for the younger!

1: Amnon’s Story (2 Samuel 13-14):

David’s oldest son Amnon falls in love with his step sister Tamar and we are told that he becomes frustrated to the point of being ill. Why? We are told it was because “She was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her” (v2). But, Amnon has the kind of friend you really don’t want. He was called Jonadab and he was a shrewd man (v3-4). He suggests a ruse to allow Amnon to lure Tamar into bed with him. Amnon was to pretend to be ill and then request that Tamar bring him some food. When she comes to him, Amnon makes his intentions clear. Tamar begs him not to, even suggesting he speak with the King (v12-13), but Amnon refuses to listen. So he rapes her (v14). Did it make him happy? No. Instead it made him hate her more than he had loved her (v15). So he sent her away and she lives desolate and disgraced in her brother Absalom’s house (v19-22).

David was furious (v22), but we are not told that he did anything about it. Quite a few translations include some additional text (in the footnote for v22). The ESV and NLT add “But he would not punish his son Amnon, because he loved him, since he was his firstborn.” (Dead Sea Scroll, Septuagint). The fact that its in the footnote should leave us cautious, but nevertheless it’s a really interesting turn of phrase isn’t it and one possible explanation why David failed to act. Or perhaps Amnon’s actions felt a little close to home given his own experience with Bathsheba?

It would have been quite the shock for David when Absalom murdered his step brother Amnon (v32): he just doesn’t seem to see this coming. Absalom ordered his men to strike Amnon down while he was in high spirits. Absalom had waited 2 years to do this. while he stewed and festered. There had been plenty of time for David to intervene, but he hadn’t. Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad because he hated him (v22). Murdering Amnon was his express intention and he did just that (v32). Once again there are echoes of this in David’s life because he had personally arranged to have Uriah killed to cover up his sin.

David mourned daily for Amnon (v37), but he lost another son that day. Absalom fled for 3 years and there is no mention of anything but silence from David. David’s spirit longed to go to him (v39), but it took the intervention of Joab (ch.14), to bring him back. Absalom returned to live in Jerusalem for 2 years, but never sees the Kings face (14:28) until Joab petitions on his behalf.

One of the key lessons from Amnon’s story is that our failures have consequences. We can pass on both the good and the bad to the next generation. Perhaps we have been on the receiving end of some things in our own families which have deeply impacted our lives. There are also severe consequences in turning a blind eye to such things. Things continue to unravel through Absalom.

2. Absalom’s Story (2 Samuel 15-19):

Absalom was David’s 3rd son and his mother was not even an Israelite (see above). But he was quite the popular prince! He was very good looking and once a year cut his hair because it was too heavy (2.3kg see 14:25-26)! He was a real hit with the ladies and when he rode through the town young men fought for the honour of running with him. Absalom took refuge at Gethur (where his mother came from), for 3 years before returning to Jerusalem for another 2 years.

During the following 4 years Absalom conspired to undermine David’s authority (15:2-7). He worked to steal away the hearts of Israel, by standing outside the city gate every morning to intercept those coming to the King for justice. He told each one that there was no one to hear them out and suggested things would be different if he were judge. Then Absalom asks to go and worship the LORD at Hebron from where he sends secret messengers throughout Israel to declare himself King. Even David’s close advisor Ahithophel was part of his conspiracy which “gained strength, and Absalom’s following kept on increasing” (15:12). Hearing that the people’s hearts were now with Absalom, David hastily flees Jerusalem with his entourage. There are 4 key events:

ACT 1 – On the run (15:13-16:14):

Being on the run was actually quite a helpful time for David. He had spent many years living in the wilderness as a shepherd and on the run from King Saul. They were always formative times for David as many of the Psalms give us deep insight into. Then David tells Zadok the Priest to take the ark of God back to the city, saying:

If I find favour in the Lord’s eyes, he will bring me back and let me see it and His dwelling place again. But if he says, “I am not pleased with you, then I am ready; let him do to me whatever seems good to him.

2 Samuel 15:25

There is a sense of acceptance here in what David says about God’s purposes. He is beginning to look to God again, and it is God Himself who eventually comes through for Him.

ACT 2 – Frustrated advice (16:15-17:29):

In Jerusalem, Absalom turned to David’s key advisor Ahithophel. His advice was believed to be comparable to enquiring of God (16:23). Given his prominent role with David it is quite significant to read “Ahithophel is among the conspirators” (15:31). David must have been deeply hurt to learn that his close friend & counsellor had turned against him. David was however still thinking one step ahead and had left his friend Hushai to counteract Ahithophel’s counsel (15:31–37). Ahithophel recommends one thing (17:1-2), Hushai another (17:7, 11-13) and Absalom went with his advice. God was clearly at work for we are told that He had: “purposed to defeat the good advice of Ahithophel” (17:14). After that Ahithophel concludes they would fail and took his own life.

ACT 3 – The Battle (18:1-18):

David’s time on the run is brought to an end by a battle which ends with the death of Absalom. David’s men refuse to allow him to march out with them saying that he was “worth ten thousand of them” (18:3). David pleaded with them to be gentle with Absalom for his sake (18:5) and it is clear that all the troops took this to heart. David’s men were victorious, but Absalom managed to get his head stuck in a tree (18:9). He was left hanging until he was spotted by one of David’s men. This was reported to Joab who was incredulous that he had not struck him down. Having been reminded of David’s clear instructions, Joab then took matters into his own hands and plunged 3 javelins into Absalom’s heart totally ignoring David’s instructions.

ACT 4 – Mourning and Return (18:19-19:43):

David is devastated by the news of his son’s death and seems to completely lose perspective.

The king was shaken. He went up to the room over the gateway and wept. As he went, he said: ‘O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you – O Absalom, my son, my son!

2 Samuel 18:33

It does seem here (also 16:10-12) that at some level David accepts some responsibility for what had happened. He is so shaken that Joab has to intervene to get David to go and encourage the men (19:7). Otherwise Joab claims that not a man would be left by nightfall. David does come before the men, the crisis is averted and soon David is back on his throne in Jerusalem.

Absalom was heir to the throne because Amnon was dead and people speculate that son #2 (Daniel) may have died young because there is no record of him. At one time Absalom was close to David, and much loved, but he blew it. His conspiracy ended with him dead. David’s personal failures played a part in this: his choices which led to adultery, deceit and murder flowed through his family. The sins of the Father were repeated by his children. But in all of this, there is still grace: God uses these challenging times to draw David back to Himself. We’ve seen how amidst the pain and betrayal, David’s perspective is shifted back towards God.

3. Adonijah’s Story (1 Kings 1):

There is no time for a detailed look at David’s 4th son Adonijah, but I do want to say a few things about him. David is now very old and a beautiful young woman named Abishag (a Shunammite), is recruited to lie next to David and keep him warm. Her job was to care for him and wait on him. But, during these last days, David faces yet another coup at the hands of Adonijah. Being next in line to the throne, he put himself forward as King with the support of Joab and Abiathar the priest.

But Nathan catches wind of what was going on and enlists Bathsheba’s help to speak with David. He in turn appoints Solomon as King just has he had promised previously. In doing so he foils this latest coup to seize the throne. After Solomon is anointed King, Adonijah goes and takes hold of the horns at the altar and pleads to Solomon for his life. He is pardoned and Solomon decrees:

“If he shows himself to be worthy, not a hair of his head will fall to the ground; but if evil is found in him, he will die”

1 Kings 1:52

Ultimately, however, Solomon has Adonijah killed (1 Kings 2:13-25) after he conspires to take Abishag as his wife through Solomon’s mother Bathsheba. Some see this as another attempt to seize the throne akin to Absalom’s dreadful choice to sleep with David’s concubines on the roof of the royal palace!

So we’ve seen at some length how David’s family situation was far from ideal. His choice to take so many wives is never specifically denounced, but it is never condoned either. Certainly the instructions for Kings in Deuteronomy 17 make clear that a King was not to have many wives. Some of them involved foreign women, presumably as part of strategic alliances, but this was never God’s intention either.

What is even clearer, however, is that David’s poor choices filtered down to his children. It is a sorry tale and one that should be a huge challenge for those of us who have children of our own. Even if you don’t have children, the truth of the matter is that the choices we make will still always have an impact on the next generation. Like David, God will always forgive us of our sin when we ask Him to (1 John 1:9), but there will always be consequences!

Cover Photo by Sabine Ojeil on Unsplash