The deep need for friendship is part of our DNA. God made us to relate to one another, and relating well is of vital importance. From an early age we begin to see the value of having others involved in our lives. Within each of our relationships there will be a varying degree of depth and engagement. Some relationships will be very superficial, usually focused on a common point of connection. But there are other relationships, that go far deeper and allow us to share our lives deeply.

The life of David provides an excellent case study in true friendship. In my previous post, I discussed David’s difficult relationship with King Saul, but today I’m going to focus on David’s special relationship with Jonathan. Most of the references to Jonathan come in 1 Samuel 13-31. He was in fact the son of King Saul and heir to the throne. He was the oldest of three brothers (including Ishvi and Malki-Shua) and he also had two sisters (Merab and Michal). When we first meet him in 1 Samuel 13, he has charge of 1,000 men as part of a two pronged strategy to attack the Philistines. This was the same chapter in which Saul rashly offers sacrifices to the Lord after Samuel fails to show up on time.

1. Jonathan’s Exploits (1 Sam 13-14):

But Jonathan still comes out of this sorry affair with merit. In chapter 14, Jonathan and his armour-bearer secretly approach the Philistine outpost. Jonathan hopes that God will act on their behalf. His armour-bearer offers him encouragement saying: “Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul.” Jonathan’s seeks the LORD in order to determine whether God would give the Philistines over to them. He proposes a test: first they would let the Philistines see them, and then depending on their response, they would know whether God had given them into their hands. The verdict is that God was with them and so they attack the Philistines, killing 20 of them. This was no mean feat, but it is what happens next that really displays God’s hand at work. A God given panic strikes the Philistine army and they began melting away in all directions. Saul realised that Jonathan was not with them, and after some initial dithering, he finally joined the fight. That day the Lord saved Israel and the battle moved on.

In the verses that follow, Jonathan finds himself in hot water when he helps himself to some honey from the ground. What he did not know, was that Saul had bound the Israelite army on oath. He had determined that anyone who ate before evening would be cursed. It was a crazy decision that had left the men feeling faint. When Jonathan found out, he lamented about his Father’s actions and the lost opportunity to strike fast and hard against the Philistines:

²⁹ Jonathan said, “My father has made trouble for the country. See how my eyes brightened when I tasted a little of this honey. ³⁰ How much better it would have been if the men had eaten today some of the plunder they took from their enemies. Would not the slaughter of the Philistines have been even greater?”

1 Samuel 14:29-30

Later when evening came, Saul wanted to attack the Philistines again. He sought God about the matter, but God did not respond to him that day. This led Saul to try and identify a source of sin among them which might have prevented God from answering. He declared that the culprit would die even if it was his son. Sure enough, Jonathan was identified as the culprit and he confessed to helping himself to the honey. Saul meant to carry through on his threat, but the men refused to hear any of it.

⁴⁵ But the men said to Saul, “Should Jonathan die—he who has brought about this great deliverance in Israel? Never! As surely as the Lord lives, not a hair of his head will fall to the ground, for he did this today with God’s help.” So the men rescued Jonathan, and he was not put to death.

1 Samuel 14:45

What I love about these chapters is the clear depth of relationship between Jonathan and God. He too is a man who loves his LORD and seeks to do His will. Like David, Jonathan is willing to step out in faith and trust God to act on their behalf. He was loved by the Israelites, and as we will now see, he was loved by David also.

2. Jonathan’s Relationship with David (1 Sam 18-23):

After David had defeated Goliath, we read the following verses about David’s relationship with Jonathan. David had risen to prominence and now he has become one with Jonathan:

¹ After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. ² From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return home to his family. ³ And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. ⁴ Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.

1 Samuel 18:1-4

In some ways Jonathan and David were very alike. They were not dissimilar in age and both were men of faith who stepped out for God. But they were also very different. One was the youngest son of a farmer, while the other was the heir to the throne. And yet we read that Jonathan loved David as himself. Jonathan made a covenant with David and this was the beginning of a really special relationship between the two of them.

Again in chapter 19, we are told; “Jonathan had taken a liking to David” (v1). This led Jonathan to warn David that his Father was seeking to kill him and he sent him away. Meanwhile, Jonathan petitioned the King on David’s behalf and managed to obtain some assurances. However, the story of these chapters is how Saul repeatedly goes back on his word. David was never out of the woods for long! For David this period on the run lasted around 10 years and must have been an incredibly difficult time for him. And yet the friendship he had with Jonathan was a constant encouragement to him. Two examples show this clearly:

Firstly, in chapter 20 David and Jonathan devised a plan that David would not turn up for the New Moon Feast. Saul noticed David’s absence, but it wasn’t until the second day that Saul questioned his absence. When Jonathan tried to explain, Saul’s anger flared up and he clearly expressed his intention that David should die. Jonathan warned David through a young boy who shot arrows in a pre-planned manner in order to communicate this. Then David and Jonathan came together:

⁴¹ …David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together—but David wept the most. ⁴² Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’”

1 Samuel 20:41-42

Despite Jonathan’s reluctance at times to believe that his Father was against David, there is a resignation here that David really was in danger and needed to flee. They had sworn friendship with one another and it brought them both much pain that this was the case.

Then secondly, in chapter 23 we find Saul pursuing David in the desert of Ziph. David learns that Saul had come out to kill him. But then Jonathan goes out to meet David:

¹⁵ While David was at Horesh in the Desert of Ziph, he learned that Saul had come out to take his life. ¹⁶ And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. ¹⁷ “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this.” ¹⁸ The two of them made a covenant before the Lord. Then Jonathan went home, but David remained at Horesh.

1 Samuel 23:15-18

I love the simplicity of how we are told that Jonathan helped David find strength in God. Friends can do many things for us, but none is more important than this. We all need people who can do this for us at times – this is what real friends are for! Despite being the heir to the throne, Jonathan also assured David that one day he will be King over Israel. Jonathan desires to be second to David, but he is clear that it would be David who became King.

3. Jonathan’s Death (1 Sam 31, 2 Sam 1):

The death of Jonathan is mentioned in chapter 31 and here we get no more than a brief note that he and his brothers had been killed during a battle with the Philistines:

¹ Now the Philistines fought against Israel; the Israelites fled before them, and many fell dead on Mount Gilboa. ² The Philistines were in hot pursuit of Saul and his sons, and they killed his sons Jonathan, Abinadab and Malki-Shua. ³ The fighting grew fierce around Saul, and when the archers overtook him, they wounded him critically.

1 Samuel 31:1-3

Most of the chapter is devoted to the death of Saul who chose to take his own life by falling on his sword rather than be abused by the Philistines. In 2 Samuel 1 David mourns the deaths of both Saul and Jonathan. He takes up a lament for them and below are some words he wrote specifically about Jonathan:

²⁵ “How the mighty have fallen in battle! Jonathan lies slain on your heights. ²⁶ I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.

2 Samuel 1:25-26

The loss of Jonathan was a really big deal for David. Jonathan had been a huge encouragement to him and he really missed his deep involvement in his life. Many of David’s mistakes came in the second part of his life after Jonathan had passed away. Of course it did need to be this way because Jonathan was the rightful heir to the throne. His death cleared the way for David to take ascend to the throne of Israel as a man after God’s own heart.

We all need a Jonathan alongside us. Do you have someone who you can turn to, who helps you find strength in God? Are you able to play that kind of role in the lives of others? What a challenge, but there is such blessing available when we invest in this way.

Cover Photo by Harli Marten on Unsplash